(4) Lost.

As a freshman in college, the world takes on a whole new form. You have freedoms that you never did before. There is no one sitting there telling you what you can or can not do. And some people take that and run with it. I took it and I ran, as hard as I could, from everything. I left for college not on great terms with my family. I avoided home, afraid to confront issues I had and judgment from my family on the choices I was making. I avoided anything that reminded me of what I had went through that last year of school. In high school, you have a tendency to think you know everything there is about the world. That you don't need guidance or advice. But when you get out of your high school life bubble there is a lot out there to learn. A lot of life you have yet to go through. And you realize you don't know as much as you think you did. I didn't know who I was or where I was going with my life. I felt alone, even when surrounded by great friends, and I craved snowboarding. I wanted to snowboard so bad I was constantly on edge. The people I grew closer to at the time, and in the years to come, were Nia and Lexi. People I had become pretty good friends with my senior year in high school when all my other friendships were falling apart. They were there for me even when they didn't realize it. I don't know what I would have done without them in my life.

Of course, I made friends at school and the girls I lived with were absolutely awesome people. I will never forget them and all of our good times together. It's unfortunate I slowly went off in my own direction and lost touch with them. When winter came, I was hardly around. I dedicated a lot of my time to snowboarding and teaching. Nia had started instructing that year and we became even closer friends. I remember often wearing my snow clothes to class and getting picked up by Nia afterward to go ride. Or skipping class here and there to take the whole morning off to ride.

I was not only in love with snowboarding and the atmosphere of Snow Trails but I depended on it. It was the only thing I knew about myself that was consistent and solid. Everything else in my life was confusing and difficult. I could rely on snowboarding, at least for a few months of the year. For just a few months, I could forget how lost and lonely I felt. I became really good friends with the people at Snow Trails that year. When I say we became like family I mean that. They are the best friends I have ever had and will ever have.  That's when I started to realize how much I wanted to do something that involved snowboarding as my career.