(6) Guilt.

When you almost die, your perspective on life changes.

The few months following my indecent were unimaginably hard to get through. I felt so guilty for letting down my family. I was overwhelmed with regret and embarrassment. I felt more alone and lost than before. My boyfriend at the time had told me he would be there through it with me. But only a couple days after the whole thing took place he left me and told me to never talk to him again. I had no idea how to deal with what I was going through. So I went back to my ways of partying. I threw myself into snowboarding and pretended like nothing was even remotely wrong with me. During that winter, my world was snowboarding. I had gotten my Level 1 National Certification for Snowboard Instructing the season before and was considering on going for my Level 2 the next season. I had a blast that winter with my family of friends. I was happy, being successful, and living life.

When the season ended, I was harshly brought back to my reality. I could no longer hide from the mistakes I had made. I had to do something to change the way I was living, to make up for what I had done, and if for no one else but myself do something productive with my life. So I kicked my butt into gear.

At the time I was a nursing major and was accepted into the nursing program at my school. I was a good people person, could get through the subject matter fine, and I would make a decent amount of money. But I still wanted to focus more on snowboarding. One evening in my Art History class, an elective I had decided to take to fill some space, I met Soha. And she changed my life.