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7.10.10

(5) Hitting the Bottom.

My sophomore year in college I struggled even more than before with where I should go with my life and who I was. I knew what I wanted in my life and what part of me I needed to have. But I was struggling with what my parents wanted me to do and what was seen as acceptable to other people. I loved snowboarding. I loved the people I knew because of snowboarding. I was ready to give up everything to have that be my daily life but I couldn't do that. That was not an acceptable thing for me to do. I had to finish school and get a degree. That responsibility was more than I felt capable of handling.

There was a point when I made some major mistakes on the road to self discovery. Some wrong choices I made to handle the pressures of life and forget what I needed to figure out. I'm sure almost every person makes some kind of mistake when they are trying to figure out who they are and what they want in life. There is always some kind of pressure from someone or society in general. I dealt with it all by partying. My grades never slipped, I made friends, and I didn't have to think about things I didn't want to. I was in a never ending bubble world and time passed quickly. One evening I got myself into a situation that changed my life. I made a mistake that a lot of college students make and drank too much. My body couldn't tolerate the amount I had. Ambulances were called and I was taken to the hospital. I had many witness to this mistake. A lot I had to face in the coming days.  Things certainly got worse before they got better and I still regret the people I hurt by my decisions and my mistakes.

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